On February 10, 2015, our sweet Yaya made a huge change. As her teacher was putting her in the car after preschool, she nervously relayed to me that Yaya had asked the entire class to start calling her Hope. She also wrote Hope on all her papers that day. This sweet teacher had a panicked look on her face as she anxiously asked me, “Is that okay?” To which I responded, “Well yeah, it is her name, but I doubt this will last long.” Then as I strapped Yaya in to her carseat she asked me to start calling her Hope. Sure hon, no problem Yaya, I mean Hope. Struggling and fumbling along, I was doing my best to call her Hope when Friday of the same week rolled around. Hope and I showed up in class after speech and the room mother was there. She looked at us and said, “Hi Yaya, I haven’t seen you in awhile, how are you?” When I say the class turned on her like a pack of wolves, I am not joking. All the children left their toys to form a circle around this poor mama and inform her in no uncertain terms that Yaya’s name was Hope. Yaya was but a nickname she was leaving behind. As this was happening I saw her teacher putting a new name placard on the table where Yaya sat. It read: Hope Williamson. And it hit me… she is serious about this.
With this new name change an increase of anxiety has appeared for her. Our attachment therapist explained that Hope deciding to change to her new name is a huge step for her. What it means is that she is letting go of China and trying to embrace her new life and reality here. It is terrifying for her, hence the unexplained anxiety rearing up everywhere. Prayers would be greatly appreciated as she is processing through this season. Also, her “Gotcha Day” anniversary is coming up quickly. May 14th will mark our 3 year anniversary of welcoming Hope into our family. Because this is always a hard anniversary for Hope we have started seeing a new “friend,” Ms. Michelle. She has a unique form of therapy that we pray will move Hope along faster in her processing and thus alleviate some of her suffering. What kind of therapy are we doing, you ask? It is called EMDR, but that is a separate post, feel free to Google it. This therapy has already been a huge benefit to our family, so we are excited about the possibilities for Hope.
Now back to ME! Can I just tell you how hard it is to call Yaya, Hope? Not only is it hard, it is sorta heartbreaking for me. Because, do you know her?! She is such a Yaya! But Hope is starting to gel with all of us. Eden and Noah seem to have it the hardest but they too are making a huge effort. And don’t you worry, she will indeed correct you if you call her Yaya. She is insisting that all things labeled, “Yaya,” must be changed to Hope; including her life story book (which I just edited and ordered today, thank you). Changing everything to now say “Hope” is also a huge undertaking. Even my sweet friend Julie is gonna help us out with a new shirt that will say “Hope”. Julie is my official birthday shirt maker if you recall.
It’s hard to imagine our girl leaving, Yaya, behind but God gave us the name Hope for a reason. Clearly she is supposed to live into that name. I just thought, or wished, it would be later. But I suppose later would be even harder to make the change. Whether it is Yaya or Hope, it doesn’t really matter, as long as she is comfortable with her name. And she is still stinkin’ cute as Hope, am I right?
No comments:
Post a Comment